The wisdom of bartenders – it’s more than just a shag you know (oh yes, indeed!)

Published on March 31, 2011 by The Editor · 1 Comment

The Wowster introduces you to a bartender who’s surely the world’s top for teenage love advice. Why’s there never a bartender about like this when you need him?

Teenage love advice. Wink, wink, nod, nod. Have ever had it. Starts off with your mother telling you not to go near the girl next door.

She’s not good enough for you. I hear she does things. It was my mother being drastically enigmatic, I’m not sure she knew what she was talking about, bless her.

At the same time, dad is whispering in the other ear, you’ve got to have some fun, know what I mean wink, wink, nod, nod – but don’t fucking dip your wick and regret it – they’re all the same, they’re out to get you.

My father was a bit of a lothario, and I’d take it seriously for a minute, then he’d wink that wink and I knew he was kidding.

Then you get a bit older, down to the pub and all the guys are telling you what fantastic shags, she, she and she is. It does not seem there is a virgin over 10 living in Glasgow.

But for you it’s different. It’s never like that. Yes, you do shag, but then you fall in love and that is fatal. Are you MAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD is the collective wisdom.

Eventually you get so pissed off, that you’ve got two choices, get married or talk to the bartender.

In Glasgow this is known as at the very least incipient insanity, you have joined loserville.

But hey what’s wrong with getting a bit of teenage love advice off a friendly bartender, like this guy…

Perfect advice. So where were you pal when I needed you?

Do you think this is the wink, wink, nod, nod sort of thing is proper forf young men to heed or you already heading off to meet your local bartender? Comments welcome please. Detail important.