Oratory skills (some hopes!)

Published on July 31, 2011 by mhodge10 · No Comments

Mark Hodge is sceptical about Ed Miliband’s new oratory skills

ED MILIBAND has had emergency surgery to improve his oratory skills and thus his chances of becoming Prime Minister.

Shazam! It’s Captain Ed Marvel
No, he hasn’t been castrated- that happened a long time ago- he has had his nasal passages sliced open like some sort of Marvel comic hero, allowing him to breath under water.

As part of a clear political pincer movement- Ed has deployed his estranged brother David Miliband into Universities around the country.

Waxing lyrical
This quite brilliant move will see David win back the thousands of students who have fallen for the charms of the coalition governmen t- while Ed waxes lyrical about how the PM should resign over a crisis that finished over a week ago.

Labour just don’t have the political firepower to give the Tories a good bashing, even though they’ve been up against the ropes for quite a while now.

Enter the anorexic panda theory
Ed looks like a character from Just William who has had his genes spliced with an anorexic panda.

And, David has that all too familiar look of evil in his eyes. Like someone who was bullied incessantly at school and now wants revenge on the moron breeding society that spurned him.

Sorry, there better be an alternative
Labour will need to look elsewhere beyond oratory skills if they are to lift themselves out of opposition.

Oratory skills lesson from a past master…